fatwink:

crushes are great until you realize that they’ll never be interested in you 

124:

not letting dumb people ruin things for you increases your quality of life by 1000%

holytaxacountant:

A ship and an otp are two totally different things. A ship is something that you think about every once in a while that makes you smile for a bit and then you don’t think about it again for a week or so. An otp is something that makes you sob for hours on end as you stay up until 3 in the morning reading fanfiction as you lie in your bed in a puddle of your own tears contemplating you life choices. 

checkrnate:

im so jealous of babies they have clear skin and their clothes cost like $2

angle-of-depression:

nothingcorporate:

opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples

everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant 

But all you ever see are men’s

clestroying:

if someone wants to come cuddle w/ me in bed and listen to my problems and watch lame movies with me and eat pizza u are welcome to

narutorero:

iN ORDER TO BE MY FRIEND, yOU MUST FIRST DEFEAT, mY SEVEN EVIL SELF ESTEEM ISSUES,

johnegbort:

good conversation starters

  • omg so i was jerking off right and then„„
  • CRASHES THROUGH UR WALL ON MY SCOoter
  • did u see that thing on tumbler 
  • would u like to talk about ou r lord and saviour jesus christ
  • I JUST FELL OFF A CHAir 
  • get in loSER WE’RE GOINg #SWAGGIng

bad conversation starters

  • hi
  • hello
  • hey

floozys:

parental figure: “sit like a lady”

me:

image